Cutting Through The Crap

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

News


President Barack Hussein Obama reportedly spent time in the bathroom of the Martha's Vineyard estate at which he's vacationing, even as fighting raged in Tripoli, the capital of Libya. Sources close to the president conceded that after moving his bowels, he took additional time to brush his teeth and shower, as sounds of gunfire were heard half a world away. It's not known whether Mr Obama washed his hands immediately after defecating or if he waited until taking the shower. White House officials made no attempt to deny that while in the bathroom the president was out of touch with the Libyan revolution, the results of which he'd touted less than twenty-four hours earlier. Ignoring shouted questions from outside the window regarding the whereabouts of Moammar Ghadafi, President Obama spent several minutes in a cleansing process that some have speculated may have been a ritual related to Sharia law.

It's estimated that during the ten minutes Mr Obama was attending to personal needs, the world population increased by 1,500 people, many of whom were born into poverty.

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