Cutting Through The Crap

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Crock'd



For a week or more, the wingnutosphere has been fomenting full-throated fiery fulminating flailing fantastical fruitcakey fallacious fact-free foaming fuming flipped-out frenzied frightwig furious furrowed-brow freakout over something Andrew Breitbart's coven had recently discovered hidden away in -- get this! -- the public domain. The news was evidently explosive enough to get Obama out of his bed in the dark of night to inject Mr. Breitbart with arterial plaque and to cause his heart to enlarge: Turns out a years-ago would-be publicity ad for a book our president wrote but never published (in which he referred to his Hawaiian birth) states that Mr Obama was born in Kenya. (The editor has admitted faulty fact-checking of the publicist, but that's only because Obama's al Queda henchmen put a Nazi horse head in her bed and threatened to eat her first-born in Bill Ayers' basement while burning a bible.)

So there it is: in the middling minds of right-wing bloggers it's proof positive, overriding the statement of the Republican governor of Hawaii who stated she'd seen the birth certificate (somehow, "they" got to her, too), various testimonies of others who've seen it, presented official copies of it, contemporaneous birth announcements (now there's some dastardly planning!) et cetera ad conspireum. If a flier said it, because publicists for books never lie, it's true. And if a wingnut believes it hard enough, like the audience of Peter Pan when Tinkerbell begs them to, it's truer than true. It's truly truthfully terrifically true.

How frightening it would be to live inside one of those heads. In there, the world is a very dark place. In there, you sleep with the lights on, and it's still dark.

Meanwhile, I'm certain Davy Crockett was born on a mountaintop in Tennessee and kilt him a b'ar when he was only three. Wore a coonskin hat, too. Disney said it, I believe it, that settles it.

Living in Washington and growing up in Oregon, I'm having a little problem with the greenest-state-in-the-land-of-the-free part. But I know I need to work on it. I mean, it's not only written down: people are out there singing it!


4 comments:

Frank Drackman said...

"Daniel Boone was a Man, yes a big Man, but the Bear was bigger so he ran like a ..."
Oops Sorry, ya got me flash-backin with that Davey Crocket bit..
OK, its probably the LSD-25 from 1979(or was it LSD-79 from 1925?: that Tim Leary's full of CRAP man....)
And He probably did kill a Bear when he was 3, heck the average life expectancy was what? 13?
thats like bein 25 now a days, still on your parents Insurance.
and be honest, aren't ya glad YOU didn't have to pay for your kid's(25's a kid?)Birth Control? Heck,Trojans got whole buildings named after me...
Lucky for me I got a good deal on that Depo-Provera...
and no outrage at Romney's Vulcan-Mind-Meld with Mayor Booker(wasn't he the bad guy on "Good Times"??
Hey-Zeuss, the MSNBC rending of Garments was funnier that that Texas Ranger fan fracturing his skull tryin to catch a foul ball...


Frank

Sid Schwab said...

As a devout reader of my blog, Frankie, I'm sure you noticed I criticized the Bain ads before the good mayor did. Although I think POTUS' response to it was exactly right; in fact, it was sorta along the lines of what I said.

Frank Drackman said...

And as a devout reader of MY own former Blog, old Frankie criticized the Jeremiah Wright sitch-u-ayshin in 2008, probably before you, cause you were still bloggin about how sensual the je-jenum feels especially when its all hot, and inflamed ummmm...yeah baby.....
If the President wanted to attend a Black Supremacist Church thats HIS bees-wax...
I mean thats what I'd do if I was Black.
Besides goin all Wilt Chamberlain on the Ladies...
Seriously, when I was a kid, and imagined what the future would be like, with flying cars, 3-D TV, Black President, I always pictured our first Afro-American President having a real Afro, like Jim Kelly had in "Enter the Dragon", or dealing out knuckle sandwiches to the bad guys like Detective John Shaft, he's a Bad Mother Fu--Hush Yo' Mouth!
And believe it or not, I still havent made up my mind for November, lets see,
1:Taxes actually lower than when Bush left the Oval Orifice..
2:Bin Laden Dead...
3:Git-Mo Open...
4:No real changes in THE BEST HEALTHCARE SYSTEM IN THE WORLD.(its gonna be 6-3 for the Good Guys, book it Dan-O)
5: and as the off-spring of a Horror-caust survivor, I just don't trust those Mormans, and its not the vaguely SS-ish blonde/blue/6ft, secret rituals, underwear,

THEY DON'T DRINK COFFEE!!!!!!!!!!!!
seriously, is there any other Race/Color/Creed that doesn't drink Coffee?
Hitler didn't drink Coffee, you can look it up.

Frank

Pieter B said...

If it was indeed a huge conspiracy to conceal the Kenyan birth of the baby stealth candidate, why did they not at the same time give him an "American" name like, uh, Barry Dunham?