Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Selections


The following words of wisdom and/or wit are culled from a list sent by my friend Linda: 

Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
Albert Einstein

You can't control the wind, but  you can adjust your sails. 
Yiddish  proverb

I don't want to become immortal through my work. I
want to become immortal through not dying.
Woody  Allen

We can't solve problems by using the same kind of
thinking we used when we created them. 
Albert Einstein 

When the white missionaries came to Hawaii they had the Bible and we had the land. They said 'Let us pray.' We closed our eyes.
When we opened them we had the Bible and they had the land.
Queen Liliuokalani

America is the only country where a significant proportion of the
population believes that professional wrestling is real....... but the moon landing was faked.
David Letterman

I've been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage.
Zsa Zsa Gabor

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.
Emo Philips.

Kill one man and you're a murderer, kill a million and you're a conqueror.
Jean Rostand.

Having more money doesn't make you happier. I have 50 million
dollars but I'm just as happy as when I had 48 million.
Arnold Schwarzenegger.

We are here on earth to do good unto others.
What the others are here for.......I have no idea.
WH Auden

If life were fair, Elvis would still be alive today and all the
impersonators would be dead.
Johnny Carson

I don't believe in astrology. I am a Sagittarius and we're very skeptical.
Warren Tantum

The first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone.
George Roberts

If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport.
Jonathan Winters



Budget Goodness

My upcoming newspaper column: Reading their budget and health care solutions has changed my mind about Donald Trump and the people in c...