Wednesday, May 4, 2016
Praise The Lord And Pass On Cruz
Well, of course, the Lord works in mysterious ways, and, reportedly, He has a plan for us all. But even allowing for His penchant for killing babies in and out of the womb, producing debilitating diseases with untold suffering, and encouraging mass slaughter of innocents, by war, famine, and flood, all perfectly understandable stuff from the all-powerful first and last besides which there is none else, it's hard to read His mind in messing with US politics.
Huckabee, Santorum, Rubio, Carson, Cruz, all announced their entry into the presidential race by assuring us God had spoken to them, and that He's definitely pulling for them. None so loudly and with as much assurance as Cruz, though, amplified by his father: Ted, without hesitation, is the anointed one. Or was. Or maybe his anointment was for something else. It was less anointment than an ointment. Preparation T. Who knows? What we do know is that he based his campaign almost entirely on a not-so-humble version of Christianity, all but announcing his aim to turn the US into a Biblical theocracy, at the direction of and with the blessing of God. Or so he'd have had us believe. So much for that, for whatever reason.
I've waited for years for athletes who praise God for the catch, the hit, the punch, the game-winner, to blame Him for the dropped ball, the fumble, the clanker off the rim (ring?) Because there can't be one without the other. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, blessed be the game on the scoreboard.
So let's hear Ted and any other of those godlier-than-the-rest-of-us announce their realization that God was just fking with them. Or that it was just a voice in their head, background noise among many other inscrutable sounds, that they mistook for a direct line to beyond the Gates. Let's have them take to the microphones, confessing that God must have been trying to humiliate them for their decidedly unChristian hatefulness, untruthfulness, lack of charity; that, as it turns out, when Jesus wrote the Constitution, he actually must have had separation in mind.
But then we'd have to fit Donald Trump into the picture, too. And that's simply beyond rationalization, no matter how firm one's belief. There's not much leeway: either God doesn't exist or, protestations of presidential pretenders to the contrary, He's staying out of it entirely. Which makes those who claim His counsel either liars or nuts (recall the association between paranoid schizophrenia and religious hallucinations).
Either way, the presidential politics of today's Republican party confirms beyond argument that if God exists, things can't be playing out according to any plan of His. All these years, all those philosophers counting footprints on the heads of pins. All it took was the devolution of the Republican Party to narrow the argument to only two possibilities, neither of which can be pleasing to the self-described party of God.
Or maybe it was Carly.
Can't wait for Glenn Beck and Tony Perkins to weigh in.
at May 04, 2016
My latest newspaper column : Win or lose, Donald Trump has done incalculable damage to America. It can’t be overstated. A disordered eg...
My latest newspaper column : In college, I played Conrad Birdie in a production of Bye Bye Birdie at a neighboring women’s school. Wash...
Here's my next newspaper column, to be published Saturday: I n the age of Trump, having only a weekly column makes it challenging t...
My next newspaper column: After failing to stop even the most conspicuously unsuitable of Trump’s nominees, Democrats clearly have ze...
My upcoming newspaper column: Wow. Is there any chance on God’s green earth or in the hot brimstone of Hell that a single Republica...