Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Shower Us With Love

I can't figure out why Jesus and Mary speak only in oil slicks, pancakes, ill-kept showers, potato chips, and the occasional slice of toast, any more than I understand why the dead communicate solely through paid psychics, as if they're getting kickbacks, and only by dropping obscure hints using numbers and letters and colors, like aphasic kindergartners. What happened to burning bushes and parting seas? And the internet would seem to be a perfect medium, as it were, for the unrisen dead, it being cyberspace and all. Why not just send an email? Or set up a blog?

Wanna really convince me? Jesus himself shows up (in the shower, if that's how he likes it; or rises up out of a toaster, why not?) with my dead mom, and she speaks in complete sentences.


Anonymous said...

Because if (He, She, They, It) spoke plainly, there would be no need for the legions of theologically prophecising profiteers who explain the divine will to the rest of us.

Why moldy shower curtains and toast? Do you realize what it costs to part a sea and close it again?

And,of course, burning bushes are environmentally problematic!

Blogging would attract trolls like DrekMan, and email from Jesus would wind up in the spam folder.

Worst of all, people might think for themselves and God only knows where that would lead.


Sid Schwab said...

Good points, all.

Frank Drackman said...

@ Eww-Gene,
ya got me wrong buddy, I'm about as religious as YOUR buddy, Jerry Sandusky...
Seriously, my objection to your NAMBLA preversions is based purely on ethics, not what some Hebrew Carpenter (Supposedly) said some 2,000 years ago.
I mean the dude can walk on water, raise the dead, feed the multitudes, but can't go all Shadow(for you Sid)and "cloud" Pompus Pilot's mind?
Or even some kind of Surpreme Be-ing Super-Fart on the way to Calvary?
I mean as rough as my Old man was, he never insisted I be nailed to a cross to atone for man's sinful nature...


SeaSpray said...

I don't know why people see those things and why God would need to manifest that way ...unless it's meeting people where there at ..even a moldy shower. I never take that stuff seriously.

But, I will say I did see something that appeared quite interesting.

Some years ago, a patient told me about this church in FL that had some kind of rainbow (color) apparition of Mary in a tall church building ..on the glass if I recall correctly and was there for a long time and no one could explain it.

She gave me a large picture she took of it the next time she came in.

I have that somewhere. I will try to find it sometime soon and scan and post it.

Jim said...

Seaspray, that sounds like a book from Carl Hiassen and if it isn't it should be.

Wild-Ivy said...

Are you kidding me????? Thanks for the chuckle (your writing) and the reminder, again, that I'm grateful not to live in Texas.

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