Thursday, January 17, 2013


Whatever these people are, they're not, as they describe themselves, patriots. In addition to being ridiculously paranoid (didn't their mommies look under their beds for them when they were kids?), certain Nazi-Kenyan-Muslim-atheist-communist-UN-led tanks are about to roll into their towns, impose Sharia law, confiscate their guns, and haul them to concentration camps, they're entirely and thoroughly unAmerican. Not to mention the teensiest bit unrealistic. Fortress-wise.

I mean, if they are right, what stupider plan could they gin up than locating themselves in one place, where a couple of smart bombs -- or dumb ones, for that matter -- would take them out before they yanked their teabags out of the hot water? In 1776 it was "one if by land, two if by sea." "Three if by air" wasn't in the lexicon. But it is now. They should stick that under their tri-corners.

No doubt they'll be digging bunkers, too. I guess if they stay in them it'll keep them from voting for more teabagging know-nothings in Congress. So maybe it's not all bad, after all.

Seeing black tentacles reaching from the White House, unilaterally removing their guns by executive order, they fail to understand, evidently, the most basic principles of the country for the love of which they claim sole possession. Ain't no way Obama or any other president can unicamerally pass such a law. And if Congress were to pass, and the people were to approve, a Constitutional Amendment repealing the Second (ain't gonna happen until and unless humanity evolves several stages; and the way were headed, we don't have the time), well, that's the way the Constitution they think they're defending works. Right?

Their discombobulated delusions would be laughable if they weren't so pathetic. And harmful to the body politic. But I do hope they all go there, every last one of them. Then the rest of us would breathe a little easier.

[Adding a new level of egotism to the extant crazy, Glenn Beck's into it, too! You take 'em, Glenn. Take 'em away with you. Need a map?]

[Image from linked article]


Anonymous said...

Rep. Marsha Blackburn (R-TN) on Sunday said that hammer control laws were not the answer to mass hammering, because hatchets, guns, cars and video games all had a role in violent deaths in the United States.

So she’s saying lets ban ‘hammers’ and ‘hatchets’ too? Ridiculous, ‘hammers’ and ‘hatchets’ have lots of uses besides slaughtering schoolchildren and political opponents.

Well, enough of that talk. America is the largest manufacturer and distributor of hammers in the world; hammers are jobs, people - hammers fuel our economy!

So we should proudly own and bear our hammers - with appropriate training in their responsible use of course; because everybody knows you can build houses with hammers, crack walnuts and hang pictures with them.

But we still need our Assault Hammers and unlimited armor piercing nails for their primary purpose of defying oppressive government and repelling invasions of “Home and Homeland.”

What America needs, to defend Christian liberty, is a personhood bill for hammers, a constitutional amendment that patriotically states that “People are hammers and hammers are people;” to apply even while hammer components are in the process of manufacture and assembly!

We should make it a felony to not own and bear a concealed hammer.

Mandatory hammer-carry may be ‘extreme’, but remember “Extremism in the defense of hammers is no vice, and moderation in the pursuit of hammers is no virtue!”

Think about it America: who would want to go to work, church, school, a movie, a bordello or a bar if he wasn’t absolutely sure that there were manly men, like him, armed with concealed hammers, all around him, who were ready and willing, eager and waiting, to instantly hammer a bad guy with a hammer?

And Hatchets? Think, sheeple!! You can chop firewood, and cut down cherry trees and even behead turkeys with them.


Anonymous said...

As a proud and patriotic hammer owner, I feel the time has come to voice my continuing OUTRAGE!!! about the commiefascio lies BEING FORCED DOWN OUR THROATS by subversive so-called “Progressives.”

Incredibly, “Think Progress” – an anti-hammer propaganda group – issued a despicable ‘report’ claiming that hammer manufacturers give permission to video game creators, to use real hammer models to market their hammers.

And then we read COMMIE/FASCIST so-called ‘science’ statistics that show that a hammer kept in the home was 43 times more likely to be involved in the death of a member of the household than to be used in self-defense.

A close examination of the “Statistics” will undoubtedly show that they are including deaths from hammers dropped when putting up Christmas lights and deaths caused by infections of smashed thumbs, when putting up pictures. People, that happens all the time!

Do you know that those anti-hammer crazies want the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Hammers and Explosives to release information used to trace hammers involved in crime to researchers and members of the public? Why would anyone want to “The Public” to know if his hammer was used in a crime?

They also want the FBI to keep records on people approved to buy hammers for more than 24 hours! That is a huge unwarranted nanny state invasion of a hammer owners’ right to secrecy!! And, can anyone even think of anything more unpatriotic than the idea of spending money on hammer buybacks?

Predictably, so-called “Progressives” brag about other industrialized countries that have ‘far fewer hammer deaths’, the wimps!

Here’s what real American men think: Asked what he thinks about doing away with hammers, a rural sheriff said, "If they pull them off the market, what will they pull off next - nails?" Clear thinking sheriff!

He also said: "I'm for people defending themselves," he said. "There are some places in this County that takes me 45 minutes to get to, even without donut stops. If they have a hammer or a hatchet, they could do a better job of defending themselves from muslin terrorists than waiting for me."

In Georgia, “Georgia Hammer Owners” (They are giving away free red white and blue car magnets that say: “Just Pretend It’s All Okay”) recently encouraged its members to support a Georgia bill that would allow hammer owners to carry a concealed hammer without a permit.

Another sheriff said: “To confront someone who shouldn’t have a hammer at all, yet, not know if they have a permit for that hammer puts us all in a bad situation.”

He’s right. That sheriff’s impeccable grasp of grammar and logic should give us all a warm feeling of comfort and safety! Right?

He says he “Supports issuing ‘concealed carry’ permits for, hand-hammers, to anyone who asks for one!” And, “They should be able to purchase as many nails as they want.”

Let’s look at the historical facts folks: “AMERICAN EXCEPTIONALISM” grew up with a hammer in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other!”

We have a PROTECT OUR LIBERTY problem here people!!!

As all true patriots know, if you own a hammer, every problem looks like a nail.



Sid Schwab said...

The Daily Show, as usual, did a better job of reporting on the NRA/Congressional R/ATF bedfellowship than I've seen anywhere else.

I'd post the links here, but I'm planning a post with the videos...

Anonymous said...

But seriously folks; given all the frantic rhetoric and free floating anxiety about “Defending Our Country Against Our Government,” one wonders: Just where did all this fear about government come from; and just what it is the violent and ignorant believe ‘the government’ wants to do to them.

We are familiar with the ideas that guns denote power and manliness, in some who feel powerless and unmanly, but where did these ideas arise?

A nephew of mine acquired them at a very early age (4) from his father – a hunter - who took pride in being able to go afield and bring home the bacon – so to speak. He ate what he killed, which is fine, but the child saw it very differently; he was fascinated by guns, guns, and more guns.

I asked him once, what guns meant to him; he replied - wild eyed and shouting: “Guns are power and killing.”

Today, that child, now a man, talks (more reasonably?) about “Defending Our Country Against Our Government” and the usual “Defense against foreign invasion” but the seeds of that harvest were planted in the little boy.

So: Personal Power and Killing now commingle with Defense of Country in his mind.

This psychology is very nicely explained in two articles I read recently.

The first comes from Peter Michaelson:
Gun Mania: The Illusion of Safety and Power - Peter Michaelson for Buzzflash at Truthout.

He makes a devastating point about the idiocy and hypocrisy of gun crazies’ vis-a vis their willingness to defend the country against invasion.

“Guns don’t represent true power. If America were taken over by an immoral force—a financial elite, for instance, that bought off and corrupted our politicians—gun enthusiasts would be standing around casually, blithely ignorant of non-violent dangers, fondling their weapons only for the defense of their self-image.”

As they so clearly do, now that the financial elite have plundered the economy!


Until recently, I took it for granted that the oft-stated “Defending Our Country Against Our Government,” arose from our war of independence against the British.

Not so!

History – in its solemn page reveals a very different explanation. The Second Amendment, it seems, arose from the Southern desire to protect – as did the later Civil War – the institution of slavery!

According to Thom Hartmann: The Second Amendment Was Ratified to Preserve Slavery:

The southerners – later the Confederacy - had thousands of slaves that they controlled by the terror of armed militias; that is how “A well regulated militia” wound up in the Constitution. The southerners were afraid that the proposed federal government could, and would, take over control of all state militias and use them to put an end to slavery. Therefore they refused to ratify the constitution until it contained language that protected slaveholders!

So that is why, here in the early 21st century, that by continuing to bow to the power of the inhuman police-states of the old Confederacy, we have thousands of gun nuts forming Un-regulated militias threatening to “Levy War” on the United States. It is also the reason any maniac can get unlimited guns and ammunition for their killing sprees.


To answer Henry Ford’s question: Who Profits? Who – in this case profits from all of these weapons in the hands of ignorant, misinformed and frequently deranged individuals? Not the country, not the thousands who die individually or in massacre, not civil society; I find that the answer is easy to see now.


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