Thursday, March 20, 2014
When Life Gives You Lemon...
I wrote a bunch of stories when I was, like, eight. My mom, of course, thought they were wonderful. They weren't. One of them was about a guy who stole a paper bag full of "nuquelar reactors." Reading it, one would be forced to conclude I didn't have the slightest idea what a nuclear reactor was, let alone how to spell it.
Which brings us to Don Lemon, of CNN. I don't watch CNN because, geez, even I have standards. And a sensitive stomach. I'd heard his name before, though, when he bravely came out as gay a while back. Silly liberal me, I thought that must mean he's a good guy.
He's an idiot.
According to what I see on the intertubes, he's been among the leading theorists regarding the disappearance of that plane. "Supernatural causes," he's wondered. Bermuda triangle kind of thing?
But now he's taking it to heights heretofore occupied only by the most breathless of crackpots, the least informed of our leaders: Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann and Louis Gohmert and Paul Broun territory. Vacuoles of the brain like Swiss of the cheese. Mr Lemon wonders if it got swallowed up by a black hole. No shit. A black hole.
That would fit in a brown paper bag.
Here comes my next newspaper column: Once upon a time, most Republican members and leaders had integrity. Believed in science. Consi...
My next newspaper column: “Being president doesn’t change who you are. It reveals who you are.” (Michelle Obama.) The same can be sa...
My next newspaper column : Allocated only around 700 words once a week, I’m always playing catch-up. So here’s a time- and space-limit...
My next newspaper column, sent in with too little time to address the latest mass murder. But Trump sent condolences, so it's all ok...
Tomorrow's newspaper column: Bullet points for Trumpists: · Trump said he’d protect Medicare and Medicaid. His budget cu...