Dog Bites Dog

From the "gee, ya think?" files:

It’s one of the great untold stories of the 2012 presidential campaign, a tale of ego and intrigue that nearly upended the Republican primary contest and might even have produced a different nominee: As Mitt Romney struggled in the weeks leading up to the Michigan primary, Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum nearly agreed to form a joint “Unity Ticket” to consolidate conservative support and topple Romney. “We were close,” former Representative Bob Walker, a Gingrich ally, says. “Everybody thought there was an opportunity.” “It would have sent shock waves through the establishment and the Romney campaign,” says John Brabender, Santorum’s chief strategist.

But the negotiations collapsed in acrimony because Gingrich and Santorum could not agree on who would get to be president. “In the end,” Gingrich says, “it was just too hard to negotiate.”

Can you imagine the "negotiations"? "What, wait a minute. You mean you thought you were gonna be president?" "So, see, here's how it works: you drop out, and I pick you for veep. Because, right, you're not the one god chose, see?" "Clearly, I'm the one most qualified to be president. You see that, right?" "I'm the better candidate. Let's start from there..."

If ever we needed Nixonian taping of conversations, this was the time. Comedy platinum.

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