King Me

 

If I were to discover that any thought I had or any demand I were to make would be actualized, I wouldn’t use that power to rename bodies of water. Because I’m not a psychopathic narcissist, I wouldn’t decide to take over a national artistic institution and declare, like “Soviet Realism” back in the day, what art is and is not acceptable. Or threaten to shut down news agencies; not even Fox.

I wouldn’t stop sending food to starving people around the world or issue edicts intended to harm LGBT people. Or, for that matter, anyone. Nor would I ban words. I wouldn’t demand that critical information about diseases and science be removed from circulation. Because my grandchildren’s future concerns me above all, I wouldn’t denude the Environmental Protection Agency or push for more pollution or end support for renewable energy. No one who’s not a walking ICD-10 would do any of those things.

In the wake of a sudden spate of airplane disasters, firing hundreds of people at the FAA responsible for maintaining air traffic control infrastructure wouldn’t happen. Same with nuclear safety workers, meat inspectors, forest rangers, federal inspectors general, and ethics watchdogs. Given the rapid rise of influenza, bird flu, RSV, and who knows the next one, I wouldn’t gut the CDC. Only a lunatic would.

Because consumers benefit from protection from usurious banks, I wouldn’t defenestrate the CFPB. I wouldn’t threaten to end FEMA or dismember the IRS as a favor to my rich, tax-avoiding friends if I had any, which I don’t. Close to last on my list would be imposing inflationary, economy-killing tariffs and lying about how they work. None of those things would make me feel good about myself.

I wouldn’t prevent people from using whatever pronouns they like. Arresting migrants, documented or not, who’ve been here for decades, working, paying taxes, raising American children, wouldn’t happen. I wouldn’t pretend I could rewrite the US Constitution by declaration; or claim to be for free speech while shutting it down, coming from people who disagreed with me.

There’s no way I’d hire an unimaginably wealthy megalomaniac, paranoid, nasty, and conspiratorial pusher of blatant lies, to bring disarray to every agency, like a can in a kidney store, firing people willy-nilly, for show, often mistakenly and without justification, with no evident plan for the aftermath. Nor would I turn my office into an ATM. 

For a day or two, I might relish knowing that no matter what I did, no one in my house or in power at the other end of the street would raise alarms; instead, they’d toss their integrity like a used Kleenex, heaping praise on me like the Second Coming. Propose my birthday as a national holiday, want my head on Mount Rushmore, when, if I did those things, the proper place would be on a plate. But it wouldn’t last. It’d be embarrassing. If people compared me to Jesus I’d demand they pray for forgiveness and never blaspheme again.

Like any decent American given that power, I’d seek ways to improve lives rather than shatter them; bring together people of all backgrounds, establish gatherings in every city to air differences and find paths to common ground. Having appointed competent, dedicated department heads, I’d insist that their purpose is to serve all Americans, not themselves. Rather than cutting funds for education, Head Start, healthcare, food, and research, I’d increase them, because, directly and indirectly, we all count on them. To pay for it, I’d end subsidies to oil companies and several corporate tax breaks, and return rates to where they were during President Obama’s booming economy. Or Clinton’s, when they produced a surplus. And I'd do the same as Trump

with the Pentagon's budget. Imagine that.

So here we are. In Earth's greatest putative democracy, a pathological, vengeful liar, having spent a lifetime bullying the powerless, was again handed the world’s most powerful office when there was no mistaking his lust for unbridled power. Given, in effect, unlimited wishes by a genie, having the opportunity to do enormous good, he chose unchecked harm, and not just at home. Via VPJD, he insulted NATO, all but cutting it loose; praised European fascists; sold out Ukraine to secure Vladimir Putin’s territorial aims, handing the “most powerful” title to him and China's Xi.

Knowing Trump as we did, even those who voted for him because they relished “sticking it” to people they dislike, it was obvious that giving him that kind of power would be sending a shark to swimmers wearing chum suits. Cruelty isn’t unintended: it’s the point and purpose. Making life so miserable for so many people, I couldn’t live with myself. No moral human could. For Trump and Musk, though, and Stephen Miller and Russell Vought and Kash Patel, et awful, it’s their raison d’etre.

RFK, Jr is too delusional to be doing it on purpose, but the suffering he’ll inflict could be even worse.