Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Big News


Finally, an opportunity to discuss something really big. Enough with economic collapse, the heck with wars; this makes small even the gargantuan failures and deceptions of George Bush. And it's good news (well, there's some bad news, too): In cosmic terms, we're number one.

Thought to be second to Andromeda, the biggest known galaxy in our corner of the Universe, the Milky Way has been re-calculated. It's at least as big. Whoo hoo! The sun is circling the center of the universe* at a brisk 600,000 miles per hour, which is 100,000 miles per hour faster than previously thought (and using less gas?) For reasons I'm not at liberty to share, this means the mass of our galaxy is 50% greater than previously believed. This might explain -- or at least excuse -- the weight gain many of us have been experiencing.

I'm always suspicious of nationalism; it seems to me an excuse for ignoring some issues, and for slandering dissenters. But this is big. Really big. So:

In your face, Andromeda!!!

MIL-KEY WAY, MIL-KEY WAY, MIL-KEY WAY!!!!!

[The bad news: we might collide with Andromeda a few billion years sooner than thought. Whatever. I'm still feeling good.]

[*Correction, as pointed out by my astronomer friend, Dougie: it's circling the center of the galaxy, not the universe. Picky, picky. A few gazillion light years? Who cares? We're number oneish...]

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5 comments:

Frank Drackman said...

Alright, something interesting for a change... But if Scientists can't get something pretty basic like the size of a Galaxy right, or at least within a few hundred billion light-years, why should we listen to them about evolution...I bet you believe in Relativity too.

Dale Stanbrough said...

It's hardly basic Frank. Do you have any idea how they calculate the mass of the galaxy?

Why should we listen to biologist about evolution? Because they have mountains of evidence from different fields that all corroborate each other.

The only people who refuse to accept evolution are the wilfully ignorant.

BTW you do know that biologists are different people from astronomers don't you? Just because we place them all under the title "scientist" it doesn't mean that a failure in one discipline has anything to say about the theories developed in another.

GDad said...

Now, Dr. Schwab, let's not be unkind to the Andromedans. They can't help being... you know....

Anonymous said...

You're not somehow blaming Bush for this? You're growing up, Sid.

Sid Schwab said...

One of us needs to.

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