Cutting Through The Crap

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Ties


It's a cliché, but only because it's true: what parents want for their kids is happiness. By their definition, I should point out; not ours. (Assuming, of course, it's mostly legal.)

For the several years they've been together, we've thought our son and Lindsey were a great couple. Far be it from us ever to make any suggestions -- you know how it is with sons and parents' input. But suffice it to say that our love and admiration for her, and for them as a pair, had to have been obvious from the beginning.

When the phone rang at 11:30 pm -- an extremely rare event since my retirement (before which I considered the 11:30 calls manageably early) -- the caller i.d. indicating it was from our son, my thought was, oh man, what's happened? and not in a good way. I guess I should tell you what I just did, he said, not doing anything to lower my apprehension. I gave Lindsey a ring and she said yes.

Having contemplated it for a few years, staying out if it like a good dad, I was nevertheless unprepared. Bumbling some, I told him it was fabulous news, that it'd be no surprise to him that we both think Lindsey is wonderful, and that we love knowing they're together. I know, he said. At that point, Judy walked in, wondering who'd be calling this time of night, so I said, as sinisterly as possible, I think you better tell your mother what you just told me, handing her the phone with somber portent.

She was thrilled, delighted, I could almost see the wheels turning; and when Lindsey got on the phone, the tears flowed.

So what they say is true, even if it's another cliché: in the end, life is about loved ones, and family. The rest is noise; often very unpleasant noise. Within families, as in the world, continual happiness is not possible. But unlike in the world lately, in families it's possible to find meaning. Nor is there anything wrong with a little vicarious pleasure.

Our job now is to try to stay out of their plans: be helpful, offer whatever, let it happen their way. Unlikely to be pulled off perfectly, but what jobs ever are?


10 comments:

Margy said...

That's awesome! Congratulations to your family!

Anonymous said...

SWEET....They look soooo happy Aah to be young again. Congratulations to all of you! Alice

Anonymous said...

SID!!!!!!!!!!!
He's still got time, ABORT ABORT ABORT!!!!
The Nuptials I mean.
Jeez, if I could just get in a Time Machine and go back 2O years..
I'd have saved several hundred dollars in Rogaine, seriously, does your son hate you for giving him that Male Pattern Baldness Gene?
WTF? My dad looks like a friggin 70 year old Jim Morrison(yeah the leather pants are a bit disturbing), while I look like a 50 year old Dwight Eisenhower...
And I'm not sayin Marriage is all downers, lets see, I can ummm, ahh, and umm.
OK, theoretically, I could have sex(with another person) every day of the week, without paying or leaving my home.
And that $834,734.29 I've spent on Clothes/Meals/PrivateSchool/Riding/Piano/Balet/Gymnastics/Tennis/Softball lessons/braces/Jewelry/Aniversaries etc etc
I'd probably just have wasted on umm I don't know, a Ferrari or something.

Frank

dodge said...

Whew, Sid you had me going there for a couple of paragraphs -- I thought it was going to be bad news. Big congratulations!!

Sid Schwab said...

You never disappoint, Frankie. I wrote down your predicted points, and you pretty much hit them all. (A corvette is probably easier to maintain than a ferrari anyway, right?)

I don't take credit for anything my son has accomplished, including being loved by a fantastic young lady; but I don't get blame, either, at least for the hair. Mine, though thinner than in my youth, and gray since my forties, remains more or less intact. He got grandpa'd, I think, from both sides.

Pieter B said...

Frank is so predictable he could be replaced by a bot. Or maybe he already has been.

My best to the happy couple, Sid.

SeaSpray said...

CONGRATULATIONS to the happy couple and the proud parents! You're gaining a daughter. :)

Sweet post - thank you for sharing Dr S.

Kellie (General Surgeon) said...

Awesome news. Congratulations to all :)

manzanita said...

Wonderful! And, so delighted to find your new blog! My husband and I both just finished your book, which we both loved - I as a retired Family Practice doc, he as the spouse of one. I was a little worried that you had stopped blogging when I noticed that your other blog stopped in late 2009. This new blog is now on my "Favorites" - Thanks!
And all the best to your son and his new fiancee!

Timmyson said...

Congratulations Sid! I hope the impending nuptials go well, and as someone who recently went through the ordeal of wedding planning, your stance will be deeply appreciated.