Sunday, December 16, 2012

Sunday Schooling

I really don't know what to say about the latest mass murder in the US, because I don't think there's anything that can be done about it. The time for sensible gun laws is long past, and probably was when nothing was done the day after the first thing after the musket was invented.

There are, of course, the usual from-the-hips: arm everyone. Ban everything. Mental health care. (And, speaking of mental health care, the predictable "Obama planned the shooting to take away our guns.") Well, if we outlaw all guns, there are already so many out there that they'll never disappear. If everyone has guns, we'll just have more accidents like one that happened here recently, in the family of a police officer who should have known better. Nor do I think a third grade teacher would have held out for long against that guy in Connecticut. And as to mental health care: does anyone really think there are enough shrinks out there, and that they have any ability at all to identify those at risk? How many instances have we seen of people being "cleared" after a so-called psych evaluation? Drugs might work on some. Who's gonna make sure they take them?

So I don't see any hope. We're too far down the slope, and accelerating.

But I do have this much to say: of all the asinine and disgusting responses to the shooting of those innocent children, Mike Huckabee's and Bryan Fischer's were the most despicable. If Obama is going to round up all our guns, I hope he waits until someone shoots those subhuman self-important psychopathic phonies. Because I'm a liberal, it'd be okay just to shoot them in their balls. They don't need them.

The shooting happened, according to Mr Holierthananyoneonearth Huckabee, because we've "systematically" removed god from our schools. Think about that. The god Mr Imgodlyandyourenot Huckabee believes in is such a pernicious and immoral scumbag that, in a fit of pique because people aren't babbling about him in public schools, he caused the murder of twenty little children. Take that, he said. You're only praying to me in your churches, your homes, anytime you want to in your minds, on the streets, in your cars, before every meal? You've got me on your money, in your Pledge, your presidents invoke me at the end of every speech. But you're not foisting your beliefs on those heathens who believe differently, in schools where they should be spending their time learning stuff? Okay, then, watch this: I'm killing your kids, your innocent babies, who have nothing to do with this. Because I can. Because that's the kinda god I am. My friend Mike down there? He gets me. He gets to sit by my side next time I destroy a bunch of innocents, kids, the love of their parents' lives. And if he wants to play with himself while he watches, its fine by me.

Really? Mike IplayrockandrollsoIcangetawaywithanyassholeryIwant Huckabee believes in a god like that? Because with an all-three god (all-k, all-l, all-p), there's no difference between allowing and causing. Mike Chuckleandmakeyoupuke Huckabee has announced his preference among the godhead choices out there: his chips are in with the one who kills kids for jollies.

If there's a god and that's who he is, I hope I'd have the moral courage, if I ever saw him (on my way to hell, no doubt), to tell him he deserves no honor from anyone. Anyone who likes the idea of a god that would do what was done in Connecticut is a sick fuck. Maybe sicker than the guy who pulled the trigger. It's the most perverse and amoral sort of theology I can imagine. Mike IgoonthedailyshowsoImcool Huckabee has revealed himself to be beneath contempt. I wish I had the writerly skills to say it better. The fact that Mike IsmirkbecauseImsaved Huckabee wasn't struck dead by a bolt from above when he said it can only be explained in one of two ways: there is no god; or he's exactly what Mike Imputtingonweightagain Huckabee says he is.

Either way, I'm right.

And answer me this: Pictures show the usual teddy bears and flowers at the scene, and signs saying "God bless the families." He didn't bless them when the shooter was prowling the halls. In what way do people think he's going to bless them now?

[Image source]


  1. Um. wow. I hope you will keep writing the blog now that you are a newspaper columnist, cuz THAT won't go in the paper, and I'd miss it.

  2. Yeah. Actually I'm working on a toned-down version for the next column.

  3. Well said,Sid - more 'ammo' for the God Delusion. Look forward to the toned-down version....also enjoyed today's column in the Herald...Geoff

  4. Thanks, Geoff. Ironically the email address for the column is wrong; I assume it'll be fixed next week, so let the flames fly!

  5. It's God and his will - God wills it, - It's God's Will - It's GodSwill - and all good conservatives drink it by the gallon.

    It is delivered daily to their front door.

    Just as milk used to be delivered by the Milk Man. The Fox Noose Men make their daily rounds and deposit little bottles of GodSwill, brimming with madness and hatred.

    Their is so much of it, that it even oozes in here now and then.



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