Friday, March 4, 2011

Huck Me

The more I see of good ol' Mike Huckabee, the more I realize what a contemptible phony he his. It took me a while: there was a time when I thought his humor, his bass-playing rock'n'rollery, his aw-shuckery made him a likable guy, even as I disagreed with pretty much everything he said. There are, after all, several people I call friends from whom I'm as far apart as possible politically and religiously.

But really, as he gets closer to a presumed run at the presidency, Mike Huckabee is revealing himself to be a shameless, rudderless, morally bankrupt hypocrite; and his wrapping himself in some sort of ethically bereft blanket of Christianity makes it all the worse. Smiling, beatific, full of love for his fellow man, he oozes despicable and disgusting deceptions, while pretending to be something else entirely. This "Obama grew up in Kenya" episode puts to rest any illusions anyone might have that he's a good guy. I don't care what his policies and religion are or aren't: he's a classic scumbag, well-honed homilies notwithstanding.

I don't want to waste my energy recounting what I'm referring to. For those who don't know, it's here and here and here.

And let's not overlook to whom he's speaking: one of the most bigoted and hate-filled spewers of the RWS™, and that's saying a hell of a lot. He who panders to such a man is as far from presidential as Glenn Beck is from thoughtful.

Mike Huckabee, smiling like a saint, says Obama didn't play Little League and attended a madrassa. And hangs with the Mau Mau. He says he "misspoke" when he said Obama grew up in Kenya, but when you put "Indonesia" in the place of that, the rest of what he said makes no sense at all: he meant it. The idiot. The cheap deceiver.

For the record: Obama played on a state champ basketball team in Hawaii; and the school he attended in Indonesia was the furthest thing from a madrassa. Isn't basketball as American as baseball? And who gives a shit anyway? Does Mike care? Obviously not. Dropping code words like a dog with diarrhea, he's only too happy to suggest our president is not one of us, is foreign, hates America, and, in case we've forgotten, is a black guy.

Mike Huckabee is a monster masquerading as Gomer Pyle. He's worse than a hypocrite and infinitely more dangerous: he's perfectly happy -- it's his goddam game plan -- to appeal to the lowest common denominator while claiming the moral high ground. He dishes his offal while prancing on tippie-toes like a blushing ballerina. Butter wouldn't melt in his mouth (lately, it looks like it might be because he's swallowing it too fast again.)

It doesn't get more sleazy.

What a disgusting piece of crap.


This seems as good a place as any to mention the passing of Peter Gomes, chaplain and professor at Harvard for the last forty years, a Baptist minister, participant in the inaugurations of Ronald Reagan, and GHW Bush, named one of America's "seven most distinguished preachers," self-described "cultural conservative." Also gay. He wrote about guys like Huck the F*ck:

Religious fundamentalism is dangerous because it cannot accept ambiguity and diversity and is therefore inherently intolerant. Such intolerance, in the name of virtue, is ruthless and uses political power to destroy what it cannot convert.

It is dangerous, especially in America, because it is anti-democratic and is suspicious of “the other,” in whatever form that “other” might appear. To maintain itself, fundamentalism must always define “the other” as deviant.

But the chief reason that fundamentalism is dangerous is that, at the hands of the Rev. Pat Robertson, the Rev. Jerry Falwell and hundreds of lesser-known but equally worrisome clerics, preachers and pundits, it uses Scripture and the Christian practice to encourage ordinarily good people to act upon their fears rather than their virtues.

Fortunately, those who speak for the religious right do not speak for all American Christians, and the Bible is not theirs alone to interpret. The same Bible that the advocates of slavery used to protect their wicked self-interests is the Bible that inspired slaves to revolt and their liberators to action.

The same Bible that the predecessors of Mr. Falwell and Mr. Robertson used to keep white churches white is the source of the inspiration of the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. and the social reformation of the 1960’s.

The same Bible that anti-feminists use to keep women silent in the churches is the Bible that preaches liberation to captives and says that in Christ there is neither male nor female, slave nor free.

And the same Bible that on the basis of an archaic social code of ancient Israel and a tortured reading of Paul is used to condemn all homosexuals and homosexual behavior includes metaphors of redemption, renewal, inclusion and love – principles that invite homosexuals to accept their freedom and responsibility in Christ and demands that their fellow Christians accept them as well.

The political piety of the fundamentalist religious right must not be exercised at the expense of our precious freedoms. And in this summer of our discontent, one of the most precious freedoms for which we must all fight is freedom from this last prejudice.

Think about that sometime when you're not spewing hate in sheepish clothing, Mike Huckabee, you embarrassment, you piggish little nasty.


  1. Wow! finally something we agree on except that Sclarlett Johansen can be used to support both Evil-lution and intelligent design...
    I would vote for Osama Bin Laden/Josef Stalin/Ted Kennedy/Ted Bundy before that tub-o-lard-still-chubby-after-gastric-bypass-Jerk.
    I mean at least Hitler came right out and said he didn't like you/us.
    and you left out how Fuck-a-bees pardoned more murderers/rapists than ummm ALL OTHER 49 STATES GOVERNORS COMBINED!!!!!!!!
    OK, I haven't fact checked that one, but I bet its true.
    I bet he didnt even PLAY little league baseball, fat-a-hole, and I WAS in the boyscouts, bunch of sadistic homos for the most part, at least the ones who don't quit as soon as they can...
    You tell it, Brutha!!


  2. Sid and Frankie, peas in a pod. Whodda thunk it?

  3. Check out Huck Jr.. He tortured a dog to death.

  4. Not to mention: Bristol Palin - teenage, pregnant, high school dropout, who is now an inspiring role model for young women, vs Natalie Portman - 29, Harvard grad,wealthy via her own efforts, single, pregnant and "sending the wrong message to women" according to Mr. Huckabee. How much more confused can we get?

  5. C'mon, Sid, tell us how you really feel.

    Funny how we still search for redeeming qualities in these guys: McCain is independent, Pawlenty is moderate, Huck is a nice guy...Daniels is surely next. Can't be in the GOP without dipping into the crazy these days, not with any hope of winning elections or at least getting your own show.

    Betting that Huck doesn't show up on The Daily Show anytime soon, although I'll bet they're itching to have him.

  6. Thing is, if it wasnt for the issues, I'd like alot of Demos..

    Hilary Clinton? I LIKE that she tortured Bill by not divorcing him, cursed at Secret Service Agents(there glorified Body Guards, I'm supposed to be impressed?)and leaked those photos of Barak wearing a Dashicki

    Rahm Emanuel? takes a real man to do Balet and still be a tough guy..I didn't even know he's 5'2, did you?

    Eliot Spitzer? I'd vote for him just for the hair...he's almost like the big brother I never had, and y'know, my Mom lived in the Bronx in 1958, he was born in 59...right about the time she suddenly moved to Atlanta for "Nursing School" hmmmmm

    who's the edgiest/ballsiest Republican? Pawlenty? Palin?

    Admit it Sid, don't you admire Rand Paul just a wee little bit for telling the Ophthalmology Board where they could put there certificate? HE STARTED HIS OWN BOARD!!! Wish I had the balls to do that...


  7. Good question about Rand Paul, Frank. I've wondered, but haven't really checked it out. If it was for legitimate reasons, maybe. If it was because he couldn't measure up to the usual standards, not so much.

    Certifying yourself? Seems a little like those mailings you get that say, Congratulations: you've been named one of America's Top Doctors, and for 500 bucks, we'll send you a plaque...

  8. Joseph from MontanaMarch 5, 2011 at 6:16 PM

    The more I see of good 'ole Barrack Hussein Obama the more I realize what a comtemptible phony he took me a while. But no more. He is a paid insert from radical Islam.

  9. Joseph: what a thoughtful comment. At least I gave specific reasons for my views. Would you care to elaborate the evidence of Obama's connection to radical Islam?

  10. Joseph from MontanaMarch 5, 2011 at 6:52 PM

    His actions prove his origins...even here in Butte, where people still work for themselves, the evidence is overwhelming.

  11. Funny, I'd have put you closer to Kalispell than Butte, but what do I know?

    Joseph, you have established yourself as the prototypical troll here: full of Foxobeckian talking points and zero backup. Either make a case, or do what every other troll here has done when challenged to provide support for ridiculous claims: disappear.

    And I'll offer you the same respect the others have gotten: make interesting, useful, factual, humorous comments, or don't expect to see them in print. There are plenty of right-wing sites where comments like yours -- spewage with no factual support -- are welcomed like oxygen by the hypoxic.


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