Friday, July 20, 2012

Plumb Tuckered Out

I've never thought much of Tucker Carlson as a journalist or pretty much anything else, but I gotta hand it to his HuffPo wannabe, The Daily Caller, which has come up with the scoop of the century. Turns out Obama nominated, to that seat of incredible power behind the power known as the Bureau of Labor Statistics, a woman who once sent her kids to camp. Yep. Pick yourself off the floor.

Well, okay, I've been a little coy: hold onto your yarmulkes: it was Jewish camp. One which, at its start in the 1920s -- the nineteenfricking twenties!! -- was founded by a bunch of lefties. That bitch. Is all I can say.

Now, as one who happens to have had a life-altering experience at Jewish camp myself, I know whereof he implies, and I can only say, dayenu. It's the poison pill, the lethal latke, the blow-it-up borshch. (That, based on the Russian борщ, is the right spelling, by the way.) Obama is toast. Kreplach. He's a sinking matzo ball in a sea of tsuris. Rush couldn't do it; Sean will never do it. But the what's-he-taking-to-stay-that-way freakishly prepubescent Tucker has found the schmoking schmeckle. She sent her kids to camp. She sent her kids to camp!!

Okay, maybe I'm missing the super-serious point in being snarky. After all, these are Jews we're talking about. They invented the bomb, they explained the universe (hint: it wasn't like the Bible), they killed Jesus, ferchrissakes. (Have to admit I've never gotten that last one: it was part of god's plan, right? Jesus dying is the most central point of Christianity -- besides which, he didn't really die. So if it's true that Jews killed him, why the fuss? If no one had been god's instrument, where'd Christians be today? But I digress.) And, as a guy I used to know told me before his descent into incoherence made him impossible to understand, Jews have always been collaborators. (Or was it corroborators? Who knows?)

So, thanks, Tucker. When all else fails, there's always antisemitism to fall back on. Sort of makes everything I've been saying about the right-wing crazies seem a little mild. Go out there and vote for the other guy, conservatives. These are your people. Meanwhile, you've succeeded in making yourself a laughing stock even for a few on your side.

And that's saying one hell of a lot. From one hell of a lot.


  1. Sid, are you able to read my 5th grade level mind?
    Cause I don't like that Tucker Carlson guy either, he's a Dandy, a Poof, a Mo' with a capital "Ho"...
    He makes Barney Frank look like friggin Clint Eastwood...
    I missed out on Jewish Camp though, thats what growing up on a sucession of Air Force Bases in Louisiana/Nebraska/South Dakota/North Dakota/Michigan/Idaho will do for ya,
    It was BOY SCOUT summer camp for this kid, which made "Lord of the Flies" look like Mr. Rogers Neighborhood...
    I even made your point about the whole Killing Jesus thang to our Scoutmaster, what was his name, Jerry Sand-something...
    Then we moved to that enlightened state of Alabama, which actually had a thriving underground Jewish Community..
    Literally underground, as in dead...


  2. Judas got a bad rap:

    According to my evangelical relatives, it was preordained, from the beginning of time that the "Redeemer" would be betrayed into the hands of sinners.

    That means that SOMEONE was going to have to take the rap for the betrayal, right?

    Two things about that:

    One, if it was ordained (arranged, ordered, set up, fixed) from the start, what happens to "Free Will?"

    Where did Judas' free will go? What choice did he, or any other betrayer (perhaps,DrekMan?) have?

    Two, the betrayal had to happen to fulfill the prophesy, right?

    If Judas, or some other, had decided NOT to betray Jesus, the prophecy would never have been fulfilled, right? follows, no Judas, no Jesus, and therefore, no "Redeemer" right?

    You’d think they could do better by someone who did what was needed to bring forth the Savior…hmmm?

    Consternation is the most frequent reaction to the above propositions, followed by:

    “Buh – but - Prophecy,” “Buh – but we do have free will! “Someone else would have done it!” “God works in mysterious ways.” “You hate Jesus!” “WHARGARBLLL!!!”

    I was around nine years old when I first asked those questions, of my parents, priests and Nuns; all of whom were astonished at the wickedness of a nine-year-old boy.

    I really wanted to know, but the more they yelled and tried to humiliate me, just for asking, the more I began to smell a very suspect rat. I had asked a big why, followed by a big why not. The fury my questions inspired, led to the beginning of critical thinking in me.

    To this day, I find those questions work very well to confound true believers who question my faith when I refuse to claim Jesus “As my personal savior.” They usually turn immediately to anger, that anyone would dare to question a single tenet their questionable belief system; thereby displaying their lack of faith incidentally.

    Their kind of faith rests entirely, on every word of the Bible being absolutely, and unquestionably true. Given that many things written in the Bible are demonstrably untrue, it all leads to cognitive dissonance – particularly in evangelical republicans.


  3. @ Ewww-Gene

    for 30 Pieces of Silver(aprox 4 months pay in todays $$)????????
    I'd turn my own MOTHER over to the Romans....
    Dammit, the neighbors stewpid Rooster is cock-a-doodle-dooing again, thats 3 times today...



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